help me. he won't leave me alone. he just licked my ear and he's so drunk. get him off me. we're in the closet. help.
did she really think she could get into the club & no one would recognize her from 16 & pregnant???
She woke me up, whispered "I like the size of your dick", kissed me, and rolled over and went back to sleep
we where pretty evenly matched until he threw me through that wall
Just remembered I hit myself in the face with a bottle then did the nose test and decided I was still good. Don't think anyone noticed.
She's going to get preggers, drop out of school, and end up working at mcdonalds. Great for our mcdoubles habit but bad for her future.
Will it be a clothes optional week when I get there? I have an amazing outfit of tattoos and toenail polish planned.
Either your boy toy or the kid who pulled a knife on me in high school is here
Did you miss the part about my hangover needing a day to rest?
I give up. I can't handle that class sober any longer. I have an army of whiskey shooters for the next three weeks. Wish me luck.
Like, she can be the shepard of the gays. Delivering him unto homosexuality.
You should just construct a mini-city, actually. Then destroy, photograph and post. Who could turn down a dick that conquered a whole city? Craigslist personals wont know what hit it.
Uh I almost got the bride to go down on me. I'm the smoothest maid of honor ever.
Some girls mom just approved of me banging her on Fb.... For the whole world to see.. I'm officially a god.
Kinda. I got kicked outta the bar, and then incited a riot until the cops came and I bailed
Randomize
