The two bassists just totally made out. I NEED MENNA'S RIGHT now.
This is your typical "sorry i got drunk and tried to seduce you into having sex while you were throwing up" text.
dude, I'm watching paul blart mall cop. I have better things to do than listen to you whine about your recent divorce.
dunno bout you, but i grow tired of beef curtains
I wish I could test you the smell I just had to experience. It smelled like this lady was microwaving squirrel rectum.
new call of duty comes out in november. guess im not passing my finals
Just saw a guy from Kansas and a guy from Nebraska arguing over who had less of an accent. God Bless the Midwest.
We are two peas in an std pod
I think rescheduling my finals around when Im going to be hungover is responsible
I was taking a bath while he walked in, sat down on the toilet, and said "its like a baby, I can see it crowning."
I had 2 bags of iv saline fuilds for brunch and the buffet at the strip club for dinner. happy easter.
He came over last night and as soon as we started having sex Siri announced "you've arrived at your destination." I think it was some kinda sign
I can't wait to see you & have espresso-fueled sex
Listen I don't care what it's called as long as it's drugs
It's like a donut of clothes around a pair of heels. Like they were transported to another dimension naked.
Randomize
