we went back to her place to bone only to find her boyfriend having sex.. with MY girlfriend
Then you got really excited when I upgraded you from puke bowl to puke bucket.
SO stoned. Sitting in just a thong in front of a fan. NO work for a WEEK! Life is good :)
he told me he had a problem with me going both ways. like what the fuck. what guy says that to a girl? goodbye planned threesomes...
he nicknamed his dick "too big to fail"
Well regardless of which drugs we choose to do tonight until four in the morning, we are having a wii bowling championship. So choose carefully.
Edward fifth and chaser hands
All I got from that conversation with the officer was "blah blah blah, you're disgusting, blah blah blah, $500 fine, blah blah blah, be in court Tuesday."
I stood in my living room with two beers in my hand asking these said beers if they were going to drink each other. I then insisted that I would drink them and chugged both. Happy Halloween.
I got drunk and tried to make special rice krispie treats, but I made a mess and they were all stuck to my hands, so I just decided to eat my way out of the catastrophe and I think shit's about to get even weirder than usual.
The power of my boobs compel you
I have a hickey in my new work ID photo.....
I just jacked off to nostalgia.
We were looking everywhere for you and I finally found you in the closet talking to a build a bear.. So I gave you and myself another drink
No I will not paint you for Mardi Gras in town. It is going to rain and you don't need another ID charge
Randomize
