the crunchwrap supreme is the def leppard of the taco bell menu
which is why it's clearly superior
Was this before, or after you took my brand new bag of shredded cheese, and "Made it rain"?
THAT DOESN'T MEAN YOU SHOULD LET ME CHUG VODKA.
I don't remember its real name, I just call it the Harrison Ford Cush after that idea with the Indiana Jones mask. I should just get high and sell people my ideas for their Halloween costumes all the time. I'd make a fucking fortune.
Also, you tried to make me learn all of the presidents, in order, with a picture book as an aid. At 4 am. What the fuck?
I found him in bed on a pullout couch with another dude. He had two empty puke buckets and his empty bottle of jagermeister right by his head.
I still don't like him. I'm also filled with alcohol, so I'll revisit the statement in the morning.
I don't know whether to laugh it off or be pissed at him..I got pulled over this morning leaving his place and the officer thought my hickeys were hand prints around my neck and asked if I needed to be escorted out of town.
I miss the days where our biggest worries were who was gonna win battle shits.
Tolerating him while I'm not drunk is like trying to find a word that rhymes with orange
My frontal lobe is being piloted by Jack Daniels right now.
Hey remind me the get the pancakes out of my jacket
I just called my grandma crying, apologizing for being the first grandchild to have premarital sex...I'm either about to start my period or pregnant.
I dont need your sympathy!!!! Just a fifth of vodka and gummy bears...lots and lots of gummy bears to take my agression out on.
I don't actually like you. I just want to hook up with you.
I'm fine with that
Randomize
