just got my goo swallowed for the first time. colors seem so much more vivid now, and more rainbows are outside
Just met someone from Jersey. No fist pumps or jagerbombs. Kind of disappointed...
he's legally blind and likes the sound of my voice, good enough for me.
i think you ate grass..but you refused to open your mouth so we could see..
I might have to break the "you stay out of my sister and ill stay out of yours" pact that i have with tim
Woke up with his dick on the side of my face, it's like he passed out mid-mushroom stamp.
It's gotten to the point that the dirty talk in my head when I touch myself has your accent
I have to shower first, I forgot I peed on my feet last night...
We need to step up our tailgating...they're here drinking out of a prosthetic leg
Well he has a golden retriever set as his background so there's no way he was filming us having sex
U sent me lyrics to wind beneath my wings
My liver misses your liver
If ur gunna go fuck a guy that's in the baseball hall of fame do you need to shave your legs? I'm so lazy
So far 2 of my professors caught me looking at their dicks
It's been so long since I had sex I might propose to the next girl who will sleep with me.
Gotta say, self-deprecating Lord of the Rings-themed sex jokes were not on my agenda for today.
Randomize
