he just said he'd buy the porn
its a step up from the last guy
i decided to cut a 3rd hole in to my snuggie so i could masturbate all the time.. all time low? or genius?
my quiz for the book was only 2 questions and my one answer was sorry and then a sad face
I am highly attracted to the men and that's all i can say. I do not clap and make noises but i do turn to the side and say how i'd do incredible things to them if given the chance
we are both sitting on my bed desperately refreshing the order tracking page for dominos.
There are a bunch of guys at the door looking for the guy you brought back to the condo...pretended not to speak English. You're welcome.
at one point i was feeding a guy sour cream chips and he made me make the "choo choo" noise as they were going in. \ni feel so much closer to him now.\n
If his smile makes you freak out and drop things imagine what his penis could do
Seriously, I woke you up with tacos, I think I deserve the best girlfriend ever award
And the night ended with some random dude pissing on a car in a vain attempt to find a proper bathroom. We, the drunk, salute you, sir!
I want a battle ostrich, get me a battle ostrich and then come and make love to me
Being drunk isn't an excuse for eating all of the bacon asshole
He just walked in on me naked with a beer in my hand eating a calzone in bed. If he wasn't in love with me before...
But I put cranberries and apples in my wine so it's festive drinking not suicidal drinking
The weekend was a blur. There was vodka and penises and orgasms. I played a game of Cock Roulette and won big
Randomize
