How is your vagina???
Double booked
With your butt?
Totes, candlesticks and all
Yay!!
we got sick of 7 11 doubles so we made up a game where you just drink when anyone rolls a 5
thats barely a game just flip a coin
should we drink on heads or tails?
WHO ATE OUR COOKIES WHAT THE FUCK THOSE WERE GOURMET
well judging by the amount of dired blood around my nipple rings i'm gonna assume it was a good night
She may be a slut, but at least she's a dedicated slut. She's always super tan and has her shit shaved in really cool designs.
Mike is so stoned. I just heard him quietly mutter to himself "rock a piss" as he walked down the hall to the bathroom
I need to be more functional. That doesn't mean I'm going to drink less, I just need to wake up and shit
But now he's gone and I'm exhausted and my vagina is yelling at me and I want a cheeseburger
I can't help you right now because I'm shaving my feet...like a lady.
we should most definitely have a fire extinguisher in the apartment. like... for sure
My drug dealer is giving me a 15% veterans discount on my weed for nov 11th
That's the best thing I've heard all week.
Yeah we've been texting but I don't know how to just randomly throw in sooo the real reason this is happening is because i hear you're a drug dealer
Tell me I'm drunk and you have to come get me. It's usually true. They'll believe you.
We had a pink drink in honor of my underwear and apparently I made out with our bartender... a few times
It feels weird going to sleep without hugging the toilet goodnight
Randomize
