if you come down to my room ill tell you a secret
I texted him about a book we both like. I was expecting a "ya great book... let's bone" response. It didn't work
he smells like the inside of heather mills' fake leg
i woke up naked with 27 half ripped $ bills in my bed from ripping them off the wall of the bar
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So I've officially decided that I AM that drunken mistake that girls hate themselves for in the morning.
cum and cheesecake for breakfast...don't fucking tell me pride week isn't awesome
she "accidentally" hit me with her car, its almost as if she know im fucking her boyfriend.
he put on The Eye of the Tiger while she was in labor.
I want him to be my next love. So I'm taking it slow
As in ill only blow him next week
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he ran through my sliding door
in his defense that door gets complicated after 10 beers
Omg it was awesome. At one point she says "cum in me, I'm too old to get pregnant".
Just got 20% off at the liquor store. How you ask? I asked if there was an "I got divorced today" discount.
On Friday, can we drink like its Civil Wars times and the doctor's coming to saw off our gangreen infected legs?
i mean i'm drinking free wine with lesbians and listening to sinead oconnor so i'm not sure who won that breakup
Can we just get drunk and watch the Birdcage please I have no tolerance for straight men today