But honestly u used to be a cool guy and lately uve been superame(734): Superlame
He slapped my ass and hummed the jello theme song, which was followed by an overly loud "IT'S ALIVE!"
...you put a chicken patty in my toaster last night..
i don't care what you say, the winery is open and 10am is NOT too early to go barrel tasting
She's licking the seat belt now. Feeling a little uncomfortable
Soooo, if his status went from married to single and he deleted all the pictures of his kids does that mean he's up for dibbs?
In the ER. 2nd degree burns. Drunken attempt to make gasoline scented candles.
god. I was just thinkin about the fact that there was a time in our life when we didn't drink.
My last google search is "how to build a flamethrower"
I gave you the craziest sex experiences of your life, the least you could do is let me keep the sweater.
if anyone knows where my shirt is please let me know and if you know why I don't have my own shirt please also let me know. also do any of you know why I'm missing a bra wire?
BABE I MISS YOU SO MUCH LIKE THE SADNESS OVERWHELMS BONER ABILITY
I'm happy I peed in your laundry basket last night
whatever. i just wanna get "forget my own name" wasted
no. you need to know your name so people know where to return you when you get lost.
You might see me up a tree with a deranged look in my eye , just walk away at that point
Randomize
