Midget Michael Jackson impersonator dancing to Beat it in Penn Station almost caused me to miss my train. God, I
can u get pink eye on your cock?
Check that he is NOT ok. He just heated up SoCo and used it as syrup on his pancakes.
the higher we get, the more he looks like ray charles.
New York to be Host to America’s Biggest Singles Event
you were wearing a pair of wings and handing out McDonalds apple pies, if anyone refers to you as the "Rave Fairy" you now know why.
THIS EXPLAINS SO MUCH.
Should we buy the taco bell before hand? Not having taco bell on Quattro de mayo isn't a risk I'm willing to take
I'm gonna do some tripping... In the direction of balls
last night i reached the point where my boob implants paid for themselves in free drinks. to celebrate lets go out and get more free drinks tonite.
Came back with a random sweatshirt, an American flag, and a for sale sign. Mission success?
Kylie Jenner Wasn’t in the Kardashian X-Mas Cards & the Internet is Losing it
4 out of 7 roommates in one month isn't that bad if you think about the fact that 3 of them were in the last 24 hours
I don't think I've ever met a guy with a bush bad enough that I would choose a cactus over it.
do you think eating a burger while having sex counts as multitasking skills?
ED guy's penis finally worked last night. It was a Festivus miracle!
... why is there baby oil , black socks and frozen hot dogs in the sink this morning ?
i wish i could say that was the first 40 year old woman from the circus I nailed