I'm fascinated by her cleavage. She has deep cleavage, but no obvious boobage to speak of. Check it out.
The first sip always goes straight to my vagina.
so i hit rock bottom, god threw me a shovel. i continued to dig.
I left you pizza on the porch. I didn't want to wake you, if you were passed out on the bathroom floor again. Sorry if it's cold.
Last night, I accomplished the impossible. I pissed while riding my bicycle home without pissing all over myself. My Dutch friends gave me a round of applause and said I was now the king of holland.
I needed to do something spontaneous, and since no one had coke this was the next best thing.
That's the kind of activity you can only get away with by wearing a lion codpiece
When the cab driver starts laughing its a good indication of the standard of girls you are bringing home
Best feedback on my performance so far: "There are things that can't be unseen."
Fucking in bar bathrooms doesn't count as "rushing things"
I want to fuck the side burns off of Steve.
I thought about mashed potatoes the whole way home
At least you didn't have a hemorroid rupture while banging
This is a weird combination of planning and sexting but whatever
This girl in my class is lecturing my professor about zombies. It has been going on for 15 minutes.
Zombies?
Zombies.
Randomize
