i got really high and listened to the spongebob squarepants theme song and, i swear to god, it was in german.
Also managed to rip my pants and set myself on fire. And oddly enough I'm still not ready to ask for 2010 back.
At what point did you think the cops were actually coming to hang out with us
You cant hold me accountable for my actions when im high.
The salesman looked at me like I was crazy when I explained the need for a headboard that had slats so I could handcuff people to it
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
U owe me five dollars for that paper towel you bet i wouldnt eat last night
The pride tent is doing free lube tastings. There is also a mechanical bull.
I have the slightest memory of swinging a bag full of condoms over my head...
Throwing up in his bed is not a step up in your relationship
I tore the muscle in my left calf at the gym and still spent all evening in heels. UNSTOPPABLE!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
So after taking my shirt off, he pulls my bra off like a hockey jersey. FUCKIN PRO. Guy knew what he wanted.
She swallowed the key to the cuffs, I've been having to explain the pink fuzz all morning.
YOU CAN'T JUST ADD EVERYONE WHO ENTERS MY VAGINA ON FACEBOOK WTF
The last time I saw her someone was carrying her on a bike and she was yelling that she was E.T.
I'm going to tell you a beautiful word.
Fellatio.
THERE HAS BEEN GRANDTHEFT IN THE HOUSE. SOMEONE STOLE THE BABYWIPES AND YOU NEED TO BUY MORE BEFORE WE LET YOU IN. oh and you have to take two shots before we'll let you in. with no chaser.
Randomize