There's this guy beside me dancing with this girl with no panties on. When I looked at him he said he's babysitting his bestfriend's girlfriend since he can't come out.
What a good friend
Amanda Bynes on the cover of maxim is my 8th grade masturbation fantasy come to life
I told him that he could only go home with me if he didn't talk or tell me his name
Just got motor boated by a horse in the street
I kind of learned that hotels are unnecessary. Boys will just take you home, but that's tough with a group. I believe in us, though.
The sun and I are not on speaking terms this morning
First of all guys don't have walks of shame. Secondly there is nothing more epic than riding the skytrain in a toga while everyone else is going to work
Are there any plans to where i might need to be dressed semi-nicely or is it a "pants optional" weekend?
This was like angel cum on the bread of life filled with the nectar of the gods
My only regret this past weekend is abusing only 3 substances when I could have done so much more.
My friends got engaged today and I learned the techniques of going upside down on a stripper pole. I'm not really sure who won...
Heading there now. Already have a boner.
Holy shit dude........stairs
Yeah. I fucked her boyfriend, she knows, and she still wants to keep dating him. That's love.
YOU ATE THE FUCKING GOLDFISH!?
Randomize
