I could write a book called "things that come out of my vagina"
I love the "adulterer" look on you. It's hot.
Its part of my fall instant classic line.
His mom took away his car and made him quit his job.
HE'S 26!!!
She forced me to throw up so it would "rejuvenate" me. It worked and then we took six more shots and did a keg stand. You know what I call that? Friendship.
First date. He's wearing a tuxedo shirt and keeps asking me about our future children. Escape plan #3 is now in action...
she kept calling me pablo. i just went with it.
i thought i'd fucked her to death. no lie. she just stopped moving.
As usual, I had to fight him for his car keys. Though this time he made it to the valet garage. All the Hispanic attendants gathered around and watched. Felt like I was in a cock fight.
Ok now I cleared out half the bar and Em and I have 5 Jameson shots lined up for you. You have 15 min.
i think god would be more upset with me for turning down such a beautifully crafted cock than he would for me liking girls
I like to feed my guinea pigs before I get stoned. In case they get contact high and get the munchies. It's only polite.
We broke into her grandpa's pool at 2 am and I held my underwear out the window on the way home.
I appear to have wine on my toes. I am really not clear as to how this happened. I'm gonna have a little lie down.
I met his parents. We played twister. My boob popped out.
You would critique a dick pic. Damn art people.
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