my mother just offered to pay for my fake id.
took shots out of a medicine cup. i can get used to college.
Ed hardy stationary at walmart. I'm betting snookie wishes she knew how to write
found POGS while I was cleaning my room this morning. Definitely bringing them back to school to turn into a drinking game.
aparently i pased my english final. I don't even remember taking it.
He wanted a handjob during a John Wayne movie. I just couldn't find it in my heart to disrespect that man. John Wayne that is.
You said that when your ex gave you a blowjob her mouth was like velvet
Am I a bad person for getting my ex to DD me and a random hookup home last night?
I just put vagisil on my bug bites how do you think my morning is going
Well if I can't snuggle you, I might as well snuggle a stranger's cat.
That kid singlehandedly fucked the breakup right out of me. I'm only hooking up with Millenials from here on out.
All I wanted was to die alone with my dogs....how did I end up here
I don't know if I should laugh or punch you
New goal find someone I love enough to use these Japanese pancake flavored condoms on
she kind of stumbled up and said "Bitches be needin' stiches." i thought i could convince her to break a bottle over someones head but she fell onto her face and passed out before i could say anything
Ever been to a strip club with one stripper? I have. And she sucked.
Randomize
