Why do I fail so hard at ironing, when I'm a woman and i should be amazing at it?
because god found you far too good at oral sex and had to make all things even?
well isn't that the pot calling the kettle a make out whore
We hooked up with his aunt passed out next to us. It was just like old times.
I think 2012 will be the year I purposely put myself in awkward situations. Much like 2011 but really trying this time. Like fucking the little sister of a girl I already fucked and dating a chick that lives with her ex. It could be awesome or horrible.
sometimes u just have to say fuck it and help a straight sixteen year old break into her uncles gay bar.
I don't know. Something about answering "what did you do on Sunday?" Seems odd when the reply is, painted, went to the grocery store, put a restraint device on my bed.
I just want to be able to run around naked and eat grass with no judgments and have people feed me and expect me to sleep all the time.
So I've been in more fights on one leg than I've had on two.
I just busted my piggy bank to afford McDonald's. This is my personal cry for help.
There's weed in my toothpaste. Explain.
Girl you know I'm an advocate of debauchery but you might wanna check yoself.
Not saying I'm a lesbian. Just saying that every time she walks by I wanna scissor her
I'm slacking. We've been hooking up for months and I have yet to bang him while he's wearing the clown mask.
i was making a gravity bong in my room and my dad walked in. he helped me finish. i love being home for the holidays.
I love when Facebook suggests people I may know. Well, yeah, I know him. He's my drug dealer. Pretty sure I want to keep that relationship strictly professional.
Randomize
