I found the seven page love letter I had written you. I'm sorry i was so obsessed.
My clean wipe streak was ended today by two enchiladas and a can of refried beans. dammit i should have been more cautious. thanks for all ur encouragement and support.
I am dripping wet and slathered in glitter and banana mush. I love gay guys.
My boobs grew. They knew we were going to vegas.
She dropped a weight class after every shot I took. I thought I was just drink something magical.
THERE IS THE SEXIEST BEARDED MAN HERE. I CAME EVERYWHERE.
I just met his other fuck buddy...I am thinking of befriending her just to fuck with him...manuplating my roommates into hating each other is boring me i need something else to do
Because you work where i will be drunk tonight I'm asking you. Is a shirt required on Halloween?
Also, sorry about chilling in just the towel last night. You know I have ADD and somehow even after looking at you, I forgot I'm not the only person living there right now
I would bite a mans dick off for a chocolate milk.
Hey, you can never be fully sure you're straight until you jerk off to gay porn
I threw up in my brother's Easter basket
UPS just delivered me 30lbs of dried cherries... I shouldn't be allowed online when I take painkillers.
RICK BROUGHT THE HOT BARTENDER HOME. SOMEONE CALL THE FIRE DEPARTMENT, CUZ RICKYS ON FIIIIIIIRE.
lmao nvm she punched him in the face and left
just bought safety googles to wear so he can cum on my face and not in my eye. SAFETY FIRST!
Randomize
