why the FUCK would i wear makeup on my vagina!?
I felt like Norm from Cheers walking into the free clinic.
I asked about his 3 inch scar on his chest. It's from when he had to castrate a bull on the estancia. Apparently this is how good bull meat is made.
you pissed in the sink and didnt realize it until it was time to wash your hands
I'd rather say I'm a whore then admit it's his child. Its that bad.
Not sure if you carved a butthole or vagina in that pumpkin but that didn't stop high Phil from mounting. My study group is horrified.
gave him road head on the way to his grandparents house. purposely didn't let him finish, the sexual tension over turkey was indescribable.
I barely remember the girls that I got pregnant, you think I'm gunna remember the ones that played handball
You should probably stop your little brother from ruining thanksgiving. I just caught him trying to stuff a cake in a drawer... And now he's puking.
IT'S A FUCKING GIANT POKEBALL MAD OUT OF TINY ROSES
Shotgunning beers to finish a midterm project at 3am is a good idea right?
Let's be honest, I am pretty sketchy looking.
Somehow my family started talking about sex toys at breakfast.
Well when we Get drunk it gets rowdy. We could always attempt self-control. But historically and statistically speaking, we fail at that.
Southwest doesn't have zingzang bloody Mary mix. I'm gonna file a complaint with the FAA
Randomize
