the bitch is dead man
YOUR DOG DIED?
no i meant my mom has passed out .. so i'll be over soon.
Maybe you should go over there and lead him on and reach down his pants like he's about to get some and yank his balls.
That's the best idea I've heard all day.
how do you tell someone you stalk them in a non-creepy way
you don't.
She gave me a rubber ducky to make me feel better while I was throwing up.
The higher i get, the less gay he looks, and the more i want to make out with him. This is dangerous.
All i remember is people cheering me on to drink faster than the dog, out of the dog's bowl. I just couldn't stop.
He cheated on me in real life. I can cheat at words with friends.
Fun fact of the day: Our cat does not like rum.
Responsible roommate: 1. Someone who takes a huge shit at work so as not to clog the toilet at home.
In bathroom. Hand in air with cell phone. Help.
Played never have I ever with high schoolers today. Needless to say they brought up threesomes so I had to make a judgement call and decided to not put my finger down
I'm so bored I talked to the Bible guys for 30 minutes.
I offered them beer last time they came here bahaha
My favorite bra is missing and I smell like beer and bad decisions. This is definitely a sign that hoe mode is activated.
i knew it was a party when i saw you sitting on the couch naked with the keg in your lap, still drinking and passing out cups
I told the border patrol officer she was smuggling drugs in her ass. I doubt she cheats on me again.
Randomize
