I'm seeing double. Its like being in a room full of people
When i woke up this morning she asked me 'when did you first find out that you could see the future.' I gotta stop drinking.
Opportunity cost of getting to econ after a night on the town > marginal benefit of attending class
i love how cold weather makes identifying sluts easier. is it below freezing? is she wearing a tube top? she's easy.
is it bad that upon arriving to my fourth sex toy party the sex toy lady instantly recognizes me?
Every once in a while you'd chuckle to yourself, and when I asked you what's so funny u replied "sometimes my toes tickle eachother"
Did we fight the bathroom girl ? She just wanted to give us lotion and condoms.
I've been ignoring his texts cause last night I put him in my phone as 'ignore for atleast a day' and I trust my drunk self.
Either call me back or tell me you're in jail. For fucks sake. If this is a cop, just help out. national league.
just used my sex toy cleaning solution to clean my reading glasses. midterms are cramping my styleeee
I told the DJ last night to play Third Eye Blind before 1:45 and just pointed at him as I walked away. He didn't do it and at 1:45 I just walked out pointing at him, without my friends
My life has come to reading articles about dating an ex heroin addict. I'm doing well.
He's hot and has an accent therefore you don't ask questions when he tells you to take your pants off.
I didn't want dick. I wanted spaghetti.
He just kept repeating "It was like meep meep meep on my balls."
Randomize
