he was so hot that i framed the used condom. it's not trash, it's art.
he woke me up at 3 am to ask me where my plunger, a towel, and staples were. i'm afraid to go into my bathroom.
But I thought everyone had breakup sex?
Should I feel bad that I fucked her and made her ride my little brothers razor scooter home?
I can't believe you're trying to guilt me into a blow j because a tornado made you homeless.
Is it working?
I'm in the "I'd rather have Carbs than Dick phase" part of my Life right now. YOU tell me how much Skinny Sex I'm having.
I imagine I kinda look like a banana with one boob out.
Where's Taylor bro?
Never mind found him under the sink
When you say shenanigans does that mean I should bring birth control?
Thats why you dont have a "jubilant gunfire celebration"
Jager makes that raccoon appear... The one that shits in a basket in my living room.
He sends me pictures of his dogs and I send him my tits, it's a win win situation
All I need is to get out and get laid
Yeah mom sounds like a good idea! Now send that message to the person it was ment for
Why does 10AM Spanish always turn into a discussion about my sex life?
Okay everything with a penis is officially dead in my eyes
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