4 words: hood of his car
I just did the scooter of shame. New levels of embarrassment have now opened.
soo apparently i was out of money so i stayed in the bathroom for an hour-ish passing out paper towels for money..needless to say i got kicked out
We're sending your burrito through the mail slot.
Can't a girl send out a 4 pm booty call anymore
Your lower body and my face have had way too much contact lately.
We waved. But it was a "let's hook up" wave.
I didn't talk to any girls wearing masks because I wanted to avoid making the big mistake of making out with my sister.
You ran down the alley towards a stranger screaming "you took my beer".... Then proceeded to run into a garage, fall down, and scream about how your shirt makes you look fat.
You were discovered in a bush, smoking, and singing "in the jungle" to yourself. Which explains the scratches, but not the orange paint.
I just watched a porn called gay of thrones and I think I've reached a new low in my life
Appearently I went across the hall last night demanding to ride my neighbors moose... How much did I drink?
He was more upset that I got into his phone than about getting caught cheating.
Would you be so kind as to inform your husband that my truck is forever cursed by mashed potatoes and it's his fault.
You know that panicky moment when you go home with a guy and realize you’ve been there before?!? HAPPENING RIGHT NOW!!!
Turns out I banged his son a few months ago but the kids back at college so I don’t have to worry about him walking in while Dad has me bent over the couch
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