Can i come over
After you called me a desperate slut? No
Come over
I should hang a sign above my bed that says "get hard or go home."
She just kept tellin me God was coming back and he was leavin her with a bag of stale doritoes and shitty friends.
And then somehow we were arguing over how to fold our arms
Don't know how I even got in. I pulled my id out and threw it at the bouncer, and he just picked it up, checked it, and let me in.
Dude this deaf chick is totally hot, I just bought an apartment on boner ave
Two dudes. Loud music. Dancing shirtless possibly naked. Why would I ever need cable?!
When everyone ask you tomorrow go ahead and tell them I'm the girl that fell of safe ride and was all bloody.
We were all in the pool and he showed up with a pitcher of margarita. Everyone swam over to him. He poured it directly into our mouths like we were a Sea World act.
You sucked a guys dick who's name was Chad and that wasn't a sign that it was a bad idea?!
Master Skywalker, there are too many of them. What am I going to do?
Hit on the one in the red shorts. The thirst is strong with this one.
she sent me a picture of dilf asleep in bed with the caption "what happened last night?"
So the doorbell rang while we were banging, and I'm pretty sure the pizza man saw my dick. But hey, we got pizza.
I took a pregnancy test at Pancheros a bit ago.
I think I gotta smoke less weed, I'm getting to lazy to fuck my girlfriend
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