Solid performance last night. Wanna be fuck buddies?
i've alrwady decidided boys hate me plkease take notyes.
what
nvm
So i had sex for a couple seconds last night
I think i really like him...he was super cuddly and kept me company.
stop. you already have a dog
Just threw up in airport security. Happy holidays.
my mom noticed the "toothpaste" stain on my tshirt...she repeatedly attempted to get it off by licking her thumb and rubbing it. See Jenn it obviously doesnt taste that bad...
well judging by the amount of dired blood around my nipple rings i'm gonna assume it was a good night
is election day enough of a holiday to justify getting fucked up on a tuesday?
Second night spent with creepy guy. I either need to change his nickname or stop doing this.
Cavemen vs astronauts. weapons to be determined. Who would win?
I just put fruit snacks in my sangria instead of real fruit. Its like freshman year all over again..
We couldn't afford sangria freshman year. We're lucky we had fruit snacks..
This is how my night is going so far. The bartender bought our last two rounds and I'm chasing a bee around the bar with a foam bat.
A kid in my class today just asked if we have class on the 17th, then announced that he couldn't go anyways because it was the day after his 21 and he was going to be too hungover
I'm starting to question if I'm gonna need to bring a raincoat just to drink around u
U act like I can cum on command
What is my life coming to that I have to cross state lines to get laid?
Randomize
