Sooo, drunk me had the sense of mind to write down everything that happened last night.....I bet you thought you'd get away with what you did to my parrot.
It's not fair. Guys with dicks that huge should not be allowed to be catholic.
i mean, i stole her boyfriend and beat her snake score on facebook within 48 hours. not her week.
He wants a "vagina fling" before he commits to dick for life. I'm gonna allow it.
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This is now the friendly bartender typing for him. He wants to be on you. He is going to "destroy your vagina". Good luck and sorry if this woke you up!
Im going in through the window and borrowing her dog. Dont worry ive done this before. we have an agreement.
Waking up to find your mom holding your birth control pills and telling you I suggest you take this
Please, by all means, tell me what can't be helped by two stiff drinks & a blowjob?
What do I do when my mom and I both awkwardly spot the Rocky Horror parody porn sitting on the coffee table? Leave it or try to move it?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I asked him to explain what he meant by "hooking up" in paragraph form
And then god smiled down upon me and he said let there be hangover food and let it be Wendy's
Please don't throw the wedding bouquet at me
I mean, I bought pot and shampoo before I ran out. I think I can adult.
I'm not sure what happened last night but my dog has a red cup taped to his back with a little beer and a ping pong ball in it..
We invented a new game.
I just smoked weed out of a tomahawk, then chased an armadillo with said tomahawk, I love my life.
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