my penis says it needs to be in something. my phonebook says its you
You know I'm really starting to enjoy being everyones first gay experience
he just invited me over for the 3 p's...pepsi pizza and porn...I'm gonna marry him
I don't know. I guess at the end of the day I wanted taco bell more than a boyfriend.
Totally get that.
Easy Mac is falling out of my sweatshirt as I'm walking down the street.
You need 4-7 business day to recover from a fingering like that.
French fry pizza
Are you brilliant or just really high?
Can't it be both?
hi sober isdnt real. this is a mass rtoomate taext i thing. bye
AMAZING.
Bartenders are not toys. I repeat, bartenders are not toys.
Grandma is giving me marriage advice again. On the plus side, she thinks I'm straight now.
I think I freaked him out last night. We got back to my place and I made chicken nuggets, chicken Alfredo, and half of one of those huge oreida hashbrown bags. And then ate all of it
but I'm still not sure how you became more and more fluent in Spanish the drunker you got
There's no time frame.
For drinking wine out of the bottle and taking nyquil at 9 AM? There probably should be.
Sharknado 3 is going to bring us to alcoghol poisonign
Today is get drunk without showing anyone my penis day
Randomize
