Racial profiling caused me to miss two cabs but the third cabs the charm - he's playing Jesus Music
So i looked up from her cooch and there was her ex-boyfriend
Awkward
Let's play a little game called "Chill the Fuck Out" - you're our first contestant
please just be careful, i just switched my facebook status to "in a relationship", i would look really pathetic if i had to change it back to "single" already
He fell asleep in the strip club and they paid some stripper $20 to sit on his face until he woke up.
if this hangover is indicative of how 2011 is gonna be, i want nothing to do with it
He texted me saying that his mom found my nuva ring in their jacuzzi filter. I don't think I'm welcome back anytime soon.
Just got kicked out of two hot tubs. We were naked the second time. So awkward getting out in front of the security guard.
It's Been clinically proven that people who have sex 6 or more times per week are happier than those who don't. Just and FYI. For your mental health. From a soon so be psychologist. Who is drunk.
Ok thats it i need a list. Full names, nicknames, in which frats, with a photo, of all the guys youve hooked up with because three of the same guys is ridiculous
Do I get bonus points if I get lockjaw after a cosmic blowjob?
I was christened with Fireball shots by some guy at the bar. I'm practically Jesus now.
I can feel the shame as I walk down your hallway.. good night
idk what to be more embarrassed/confused about, that i lost my underwear or that i woke up covered in fried rice
Very interesting. Let's just say I got home last night and threw up, found a joint in my bra, and woke up naked in my bed
Randomize
