If a woman tells you she has been pink socked...don't move forward with her.
I just remembered we were doing butt clenching exercising with bar straws last night
I don't know what's more sad having a rewards account at a liquor store or already racking up 273 dollar points since january
Saved By The Bell: The College Years had it waaaay wrong on that one.
found out the liquor store price matches. thus begins senior year of college
My brother just put in eyedrops to talk to my mom on the phone
I know, but I was really high and I felt like a failure dragon because I could only blow smoke, no fire.
In the 30 seconds it took me to leave the bar I let the barback motorboat me, ripped open a stranger's shirt and bit his chest, then made out with El Camino dude. No, I'm not coming out tonight.
She kept looking at me and saying "you are the scary high".
Pretty sure encouraging you to sleep with 2 different girls while keeping you in the good graces of both has lost me the ability to call myself a woman. But that's just the kind of friend I am; dedicated.
I swear to god there was like a 2-second timespan in which he went from laughing to coughing, hiccuping, and subsequently projectile vomiting into the grass. There is literally a line in the grass, about 2 yards long, of his puke. It was more impressive than disgusting to be honest. And then he just shrugged and said "I have no idea where that came from."
PUB CRAWL IS THE WEEK I COME BACK FROM NOLA OMG OMG OMG. Has it been a year already since I tried to make out with you and you let a bar tender take a shot out of your cleavage? Time flies.
We tried to play tennis but after about 15 minutes we gave up and fucked against the fence. Woulda been a cute third date so of course I had to ruin it.
seriously though if NH has the largest penis size... the rest of America must be very disappointed.
The last thing I remember is goading each other into a vodka-chugging competition.
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