Dude if you're in another zip code it doesn't count
You don't understand. I'm not like you.
I just had human shit waiting for me at the top of the escalator at Bowery. This is truly the Lord's day.
May the Lord look upon you in favor and give you pees.
I puked for half an hour, but I went and danced afterwards, and that made me feel better.
You are so irish.
I would get the one fuckin stripper that's a lesbian. THE ONLY ONE
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
do you guys have 30-35 shot glasses? because if not, i don't even see a point in me coming
In an m&m suit playing manhunt drunk. And you thought you werent guna have a good time
You defs just slept for 6 hours in a porta pottie. You should probably just kill yourself.
His thanks his mom for not having an abortion at his wedding toast. I love frat weddings.
yea, there's something about a stripper whipping you with your own belt that makes you think
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
She sucks dick like Beethoven on piano, but talking to her is like Simple Jack in Tropic Thunder. Still working out the pros vs cons list.
blowjobs from left handed girls are noticably better than from righties. these are the most important things I've learned this semester
That's the kind of activity you can only get away with by wearing a lion codpiece
Woke up, moved an empty handle of fireball to spit blood, then put the morning cigarette out in it.
Some dudes just stopped and stared at me peeing in the street for like 5mins, and I yelled HEY. HEY. WANT ME TO SHIT IN YOUR MOUTH? I'LL SHIT ON YOUR CHEST FOR FIVE DOLLARS, PAPI
this is why i love drunk you
You are an awesome peach made of glitter.
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