Don't feel too badly. Until twenty minutes ago my paper was a heading and a pizza order.
why do cheetos always look like penises
Beach body diet is off. Pizza hut worked its way back onto my google chrome top 8
I couldn't tell if those girls from the bar were lesbians or just awesome
We're in ER. He's high on morphine and I'm drunk. Gonna score some bed pans for jello shots.
I don't think you seem to understand this concept. WHEN A GAY GUY HANDS YOU A DAIQUIRI, YOU DRINK IT.
I'm not saying I haven't been that drunk. I'm just saying I haven't been that drunk and then have cops buy me shots.
I was like kind of drunk but mostly just very enthusiastic about beyonce
She said you told her you were ready to be a dad. We just got back from our purchase of the morning after pill. That took me 2 hours of convincing. No more fucking my sister.
1. Thanks. 2. No.
We're Scorpios. We're like dogs rolling in whatever smells good to us.
the cashier at the gas station pulled a twig out of my hair and told me I should probably wash it before work....it was kinda sweet.
Realizing life ain't all about burritos and strippers, it's a struggle out there, and it ain't looking pretty so far,..
NO HE PUT HIS HAND IN HIS PANTS BEFORE HE TOUCHED THE BONG.
ILLEGAL
I'm definitely not mad. My best friend is dating my drug dealer, it's impossible to be mad.
My nipples are raw, I've yet to go to bed, I feel like death, and I'm at work. Thank you jack, crown, and Lafayette!
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