So there are ramen noodles in the shower you need to explain...
Strawberries are so good its weird that food is growable
i guess. but if i can salvage this and still somehow see you naked i feel like that's a win
he came up my nose again i swear he does this just to piss me off
You were spooning my trash can and I had to crumble cookies on the floor by your face to get you to eat
I Never golf you the sypdu of andrew. The one o will marry. The one j plwgded my last breath up. The one I pledged everything I live forbworh to. I love him more than life itself
I feel the need to point out that one of the items on my to-do list for the day is "don't throw up" I have no concept of normal
but then the words kidney pain and possible testicle shrinkage kept ringing in my head
Thanks to this cookie, I have now eaten something other than skittles today.
Jsyk, in serious talks of trading blowjobs for soup in bed. I'm sober
I'm ordering a French maid costume for my dog too. It's like a couples costume, except for losers with dogs.
I am not betting on the failure of any friend that is not you.
I woke up knowing I have nowhere to be today except parties and it was glorious and I am so happy
I accidentally put Bacardi in my coffee this morning. I ain't even mad.
Come on baby if you haven't had a Charleston chew eatin out of your ass you just ain't livin right.
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