The way you explained my vagina was exactly the way I would of described my breakfast burrito.
I woke up with a picture of my dick as my background. still wondering if it was a good night or not.
May or may not have just drunkenly opened my christmas presents. Greatly disappointed. Might break up sooner.
The doctor said 'youre the 2nd youngest person that ive seen with this condition. Thats probably not the silver medal you were looking for today.'
I need you to send me a picture of your dick. I want to forward it to that girl and you and i both know you're more impressively sized
In other news, I apparently ate my retainers while rolling last night.
Sorry about all of the penis things that happened last night.
Every time you visit for the weekend I end up having to bleach my entire house after.
well I got an eye infection from a stripper motorboating me but overall it was a great weekend
moral of my life: don't tell a guy you want to have sex with him. he'll get back together with his ex.
According to timehop today marks the 3rd anniversary of my 1st blackout
Your cousin just directly asked you for nudes
I had a rough night. I'm just gonna lay here and masturbate for a while before I have to go adult.
It was like a baby arm holding another baby arm holding an apple grove. Fuckin huge!
I admit I fucked your best friend, but to be fair, you fucked the tristate area. So there's a good chance about 40% of those people are MY friends.
Randomize
