After me and my boyfriend broke up I had to resist the temptation to send a mass text to my booty calls saying "thank you for your patience. it will be rewarded."
I knew she could be a good mother by the way she craddled three 40oz's.
her bridesmaids come in huge, huger, wtf, and free willy. all their gown are strapless. its like watching the Hindenburg waddle down the isle.
Well, I woke up with a text message from my cab driver that said "I hope you're alive," so that's a good indicator of how I was acting last night.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
you went all the way to UK and still managed to hook up with someone from our highschool...
For a limited time only, free special muffin with the referral of a loyal dro customer! Have it for breakfast and be happy off your ass all day! Guaranteed! New member must buy at least an eighth. Oh and O's are on sale for 280.
You. Win. At. Life.
I had to put a towel over my laptop because the little power light was too bright. New hangover low.
Everyone at work loved my story about sobering up in a river with no bra on.
Dedication to a hook up: I had to recruit five people at the train station to help me buy a ticket from a kiosk and get on the right train in 15 minutes because I discovered that my car was stolen.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Dude random question. Where you with me when the vulture got electrocuted from the power lines and fell on the sidewalk in front of us?
Just had my very first high conversation with mom
And you survived it! I'd say that earns you a "Blaze It Like a Real Adult" from the Grown-up Girl Scouts
Why make bad decisions when I can watch you?
my bed is a shrine, and I am its goddess.
The clothing optional portion of the night began around midnight. Then we did disgusting things to each other. It was beautiful.
hey man , the girl you brought home last night is in the kitchen puking in the sink and asking if she can have more shots of Whiskey....think i should give her a shot glass or send her home....
Randomize