your drunk exhusband is tryin to get with my drunk exgirlfriend. i think its funny. if you still talk to him dont say anything.
we're not divorced.
You're going to have to start masturbating with your left hand. Or with someone's vagina
uhhh i just had a guy tell me he's seen more jam bands and done more drugs than i could err imagine. what a turn on.
I'm a simple man, with a social life most psychopaths would cringe at
I saw her while sober, and she is definately cut off from the penis ride
i think i just witnessed the elusive male walk of shame
If i need to get strippers involved i will.
that trick or treat candy bucket that we used to collect beer money last night was very helpful when I vomited in it this morning
I was in a house full of lesbians and they were all staring at me. I felt like the last cresent roll on Thanksgiving.
Also I'm eating leftovers with a pair of bullet removal forceps (unused) because I don't have a fork.
oh so have I but I'd still suck a dick or 20 in the name of freedom.
Well, if it's rabies, your lips will swell just prior to the frothing. Get a lot of good pics!
I got the security footage. Thank you boobies!
So there i was right, midnight, washing my junk off in my bathroom sink.
You know its awkward when your mom walks in on you and your boyfriend yelling surprise....I was scared into an orgasm
Randomize
