Dude! wtf happend last nite? I woke up with 2 black eyes and a head ache
You stepped off the curb and face planted the road...twice
Why didnt you hold me up....and why a second time?
I helped you up but figured it was wayy funnier to watch you fall again then lose my buzz....
Saw 2 former students outside gas station. gave me money to buy 2 12 packs, asked if I wanted to go to their party.
I told them I had a gf and took one of the 12 packs. Come over.
Texas should really raise its teaching standards.
I had total buyers remorse when i finally got him naked. All that effort for a dude that hairy? Come on.
My vagina has officially become a vortex for sexually confused frat guys.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i feel this outfit says i'm better than you, but i might give you a handjob behind a building
She is just riding on my slutty coat tails.
I think its pretty common. 1 out of every 4 people probably have a stripper's phone # in their phone.
Drunk me Does not appreciate a drunk, naked you kicking me off the couch at 3am. You have a bed here, you dick
hey fuckhead. when i said not to grow shrooms in our apartment, that didn't mean "yea, sure. grow shrooms in our apartment"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My vagina loves me do-dah do-dah my vagina loves me do-dah do-dah
I picture you throwing your vagina around in the same fashion that they pass out candy at a parade.
I asked if anyone's pants felt wet on the bottom, like a half hour after mine did. I had just peed my pants i had gotten so high no biggie
Never have i felt more judged than when i was throwing up in front of a hello kitty shower curtain at 5 in the morn
Is is gay if I donloaded Grinder to see if my roommate is gay?
My friends got engaged today and I learned the techniques of going upside down on a stripper pole. I'm not really sure who won...
Apparently I called down to the hotel front desk and begged them to bring us pizza. They brought us tea.
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