I wish they made portable blow up dolls for girls.
It's called a dildo, genius. Go to sleep.
i felt horrible..i wanted to somehow give him his vcard back
that's a non refundable transaction sweetheart
Today in psych we learned that you are a whore.
Me specifically?
Yep.
I woke up to his little sister feeling me up. I guess it's time to meet the family.
I added "don't hook up with boys with girlfriends" to my new years resolution and realized how sad it was that it made me actually feel like a better person
Peanut butter balls.
IF YOU EVEN COME NEAR MY BALLS AGAIN I SWEAR TO GOD
You were stoned out of your mind. We were eating cold cuts and you wouldn't shut up about how it was the wettest meat you'd ever felt in your life.
Why were you not born a dude?
Because god wanted to level the playing field
We don't have the same problems as normal people do we?
I don't remember much from my 21st, but my mom said I insisted on the fat guy taking body shots off me
I need a hoe opinion
go on
He and I tag each other in memes all day. You could say it's getting pretty serious.
it's like he didn't even know what a vagina was
Apparently I repeatedly thanked the paramedic for saving the "happy new year" beads i was wearing. that bad.
Can’t fucking wait for Tuesday night. Have another situation that popped up. I swear my life is like a cross between a soap opera and a porno
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