Just wanted to let you know that if you need my services as a male dancer for his birthday, let me kno so I can clear my schedule
guess who just spent driver's ed figuring out how to draw a guy giving head
How many pudding cups do I have to eat for it to count as dinner?
4.
my love horoscope just told me to "say it in frosting" should i take this literally?? i think yes.
he recorded me cumming with the t-pain app on his iphone
I have a new drinking limit. I'll stop when I know I'm going to untag the picture that was just taken of me.
i can barely draw a stick figure let alone shave a heart into my pubes
I have a way to get him back. you're going to have to take one for the team and make a visit to the health department. you in?
don't you dare blame getting arrested on me. you sugested we play the penis game and we all know I'm a strong competitor
I was sat at the table waiting with a glass of wine reading my book and the hotel staff gave me a goldfish in a bowl and said 'heres your date for the night' !
Saying I've had more balls in my mouth than you is the last clear, coherent thing I remember.
I passed out drunk in her bed. Her boyfriend showed up and told me to go to the other room or we were gonna have a threesome. I threw up off the side of her bed and left. I feel like that was an adequate response.
Please wake up and help me figure out how I woke up on the floor with my head under the couch
I'm completely creeped out. He's dressed as me. And thinks it's funny.
Call me a snob but I'm not banging chicks with more fingers than teeth.
Randomize
