Raise your hand if you bought 2 annoying girls shots of water. CLOWNS.
I took her to see 2012 then broke up with her, the movie was a metaphor.
I smelled my fingers after she left and they smelt like sugar cookies. I want that one again.
He asked if he could fuck me while on chat roulette.
I wouldn't fuck her. Looks like her vagina smells like a seaside orgy.
I think the name vodka for a girl is amazing
Drinking vodka in the bathtub.... If I don't make it, I thank you for your magical parts
animal crackers drenched in taco bell mild sauce... surprisingly delightful
breakfast of champions
breakfast of stoners
KEG. KEG. THE OPERA HAS A KEG. KEG STAND IN A TUX. AFTER PARTY RAVE AND KEG STANDS.
I woke up on karas dogs bed. Lets evaluate our lives.
let's make a party pact right now just as precaution for this trip: ill make sure you don't piss yourself if you make sure I don't bang my cousins friends. deal?
It's all fun and games until your AARP eligible neighbors end up blacking out in your yard at 5pm with a box of franzia. I'm feeling a great year ahead
I feel as bad as you right now. I'm about to use one girls car to go see another one
Fuck ya. But normally I drove one girls car picking up a different girl while texting another girl lol
He's a real gentleman. At least he tried to flush my closet's handle after he pissed in it.
Idk why more people don't drink at work ... i mean, yeah, the cash might be off tonight, but my customer service is fucking phenomenal right now
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