I just heard a girl say "We can't go that way, it is a one way street." She was on foot...Nothing worse than girl from the midwest that move to NY to "live out their dream" -the dream of living in a rat and roach infested 200sqft for $2k a month, and get fucked by some recent Ithaca college frat grad...
after a few more beers I realized that both my wife and I like Latin men.
Is it weird if I ask my drug dealer to prom? Be honest.
Also, last night I had a dream that I was in a victoria's secret fashion show and they made me wear a t-shirt over my lingerie. Spring dieting begins now.
So much for not drinking this week after this weekend.. Congratulations. U made it until tuesday.
nope. just stoned. wishing i had a golf cart.
When I am this hungover I become increasingly grateful for having my own private office
I think the sex rug burn on my back is infected, can you check it out when you get home?
Really this has to stop, if they get any younger we will be breaking the law
In theory, it seemed like it would work.
I've broken 3 vibrators in the past month because I apparently am "too rough" with them. Is that even possible?!
I duct taped a bottle of vodka to the back of your closet while you were sleeping in case of emergencies. Go rip it off, it's going to be a long night.
so i put my jacket on last night that you wore last weekend, and reach inside the pockets and find them full of goldfish...
the snack that smiles back:)
Turns out naked twister is less fun than it sounds. I can never look Lee in the eye again. But Aimee's boobs are glorious.
how is it I left wearing underwear then ended up with none? and why is it they are on you?
Randomize