Please dont use Danity Kane lyrics to describe your emotions.
I just finished deleting miscellaneous contacts from my phone ... time for a HIV test!
constantly striving to make life awkward and more complicated, one drunk bone at a time.
Well... When your girlfriend fucks your sister, the 2 week courtesy window goes out the door.
I've officially done it all, fucked a girl wearing a twister board. ABC parties are amazing!
Why does my jaw hurt?
I may have punched you.
I'm so tired I just poured monster in my coffee.
And it tastes incredible.
And I have chest pains.
....she made me stop for like 3 minutes so she could talk to her cat....
I feel like I'm in a development meeting for a Lifetime original movie.
She took her panties off, then farted in my general direction. I guess we're at that stage in our relationship.
I just found weed in my bra #magicboobs2k16
I still can't believe a guy pooped in my backyard
Can you explain to me why I showed my boobs to the firemen to get free beer?
I couldn't have possibly been that bad
You had her flip the penny over to the lucky side before you picked it up and ate it...
People probably think I’m a fangirl bc I go to so many shows but it’s really bc I like fucking the tour manager
Randomize
