Question: does he have any sense of self image? He looks slightly like he crawled out of the Euphrates after living as a fish for 20 years
Remember in school when they told us our vag was made just the right size for our future husband? I must say I am enjoying trying to find that perfect fit.
Using your Catholic School education as an excuse for this? Why didn't I think of that?!
Halloween has nothing on dressing up as as the INS on cinco de mayo
I need to stop fucking people before I get to know them
I smuggled my gin and tonic out of the bar by shoving the glass in my pocket...mistakes were inevitable.
Ever since I told them the story of the sex in the canoe scandal its like I am in season
Warning: at some point today you will probably see several pics of me 69-ing a blow up turtle show up on facebook. Just disregard them.
There is a homeless man handing out free beer on the city bus. He has a cooler and everything. I love this trashy yet generous city.
I think after that blow job he got the other day he'd set himself on fire if I asked.
COME HERE WE MELTED A CORONA BOTTLE WITH FIREWORKS
Dude, putting on underwear straight out of the dryer is the greatest thing ever. It feels like I wrapped my vagina in a warm blanket.
Now we just need to figure out why your underwear was in your bra
it doesn't matter what you do now, you will forever be known as the girl who fell off the roof
nooooo! we need to brain storm. I need rebranding....what if I start always showing up with my cat or a wacky hat?
try again roofio
Woke up in my boxers on a subway with a phone number written on my arm in lipstick..Best Night EVER.
Just puked most of my soul out..
Randomize
