I have carpet burn on my ass, I'm rethinking my decisions last night.
u know u need to get laid when watching mike wazowskis gf from monsters inc makes u horny
he just tried to lick my eyebrow. thats the deal breaker.
I don't really want to write this paper. It's the last one of the semester - I need to savor the feeling of procrastination.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I can't tell if I miss summer or 5 times a day sex more.
There was a canoe full of alcohol. It was literally a boat load of fun
I miss waking up, opening the closet downstairs, and finding you inside passed out.
If I'm gonna go to jail I'm gonna be wearing a poncho
He snuck out of bed at 9 am and came back with pizza and a bottle of wine. I think I'm in love!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
And here i was gonna offer you a complimentary blowjob.
I'm crossing my legs while pooping. Taking a shit has never looked so proper.
Seriously, it sounds like someone is torturing a dozen cats inside a Japanese techno club while a jamaican yells random hipster words through a megaphone.
I've been up for almost three hours and it took me until JUST NOW to figure out that what I'm tasting isn't blood, just the minerals in the water. Fuck hangovers, man.
you don't go into accounting for the pussy....
He and I tag each other in memes all day. You could say it's getting pretty serious.
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