With such a small dick you'd think he'd try to make up for it with some sort of personality.
I hid my booze in my old Sesame Street lunch box. Big Bird might be disappointed, but I feel Oscar the Grouch would approve.
He would stand there for a few seconds with a blank look on his face then randomly start running full sprint towards macdonalds. We'd catch him and he'd promise to stop so we'd let him go and he'd do it again.
I pretty much just threw a bunch of clothes and my vodka in a bag..idk where I'm gonna end up tonight but I'm prepared.
Dude she flew me 1000 miles down to see her, broke up with me 7 hrs after arrival, and kicked me out with a week left til I fly home. Thank god college taught me how to shack up
The number of times I have seen your cock and the number of times I have wanted to see your cock are different!
Please tell me you have Advil or Tylenol or ibuprofen or a fucking baseball bat
Do you think casino weekend will remind us once again that we in fact are not mature enough to be this old?
Yeah she let me pull the goalie and wear my USA flag like a cape since it was the first day of the world cup
YOU SLEPT WITH A GUY WHO HAS A BILLBOARD IN HIS HONOR?
I woke up this morning to find myself laying in a beer puddle with "I'm sorry" written on the shaft of my dick and Nicole was nowhere to be found. Gotta love her
Swear to god, somebody just drove by with mickey mouse in their passenger seat and he waved at me.
It's beautiful. It's what jesusxwants. I should send you a pic of my boobs out of friendship
Listen, I love you but you cannot refer to your dick as the holy sister anymore
eveytime i go to his house my cute clothes always get taken off what's the point of even wearing them there?
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