Tell him ill love him long time
I'll assure him of it
i just unintentionally masturbated to my own facebook picture
Tuesday night just isn't my ideal coke binge night.
Plus you know he's just 2 semesters and 4 glasses of wine away from "experimenting" with some French major
OMG bikini contest at the bar. You can see this one chicks scar from her c-section and I'm pretty sure she is the best of the bunch.
I called my dad at 3 a.m. because I thought he'd be proud that I didnt get arrested. Daddys little girl at her finest...
She asked me to go inside, make myself a drink and slip into something a little more naked.
I was short on money so I let my roommate mase me for $60
You force fed me pizza in bed last night. That was fun
He asked her to marry him and she said yes. There is NO WAY she knows about his penchant for wearing lingerie.
I think you should just bang him and get it out of your system.
That's what you say about everyone.
I like how you were offering me $50 last night to come home with you to take care of you and your dog
Sorry I wore your bra during sex last night
I got titty fucked last night and you're breastfeeding your newborn. Clearly we have gone two totally different paths since 2011.
She just. Cock slapped me. With string cheese.
Randomize
