I mean a good dj is a huge turn on
hey no worries the mystery has been solved- i jst sneezed and my undies popped outta my nose.
Sitting at a red light. Windows are down. I'm blasting Gaga's "Disco Stick" and doing an interpretive dance to it because I think I'm hilarious. Look to the left and see two Phi Delts that I know with their windows down. They are horrified. I am probably going to lose their Facebook friendships.
I'm wearing the bright blue sombrero all through the airport as a sign of triumph that I survived spring break. I'm getting compliments
heading to class now, facing the weekend consquences
Then I received a text in French, that roughly translated to "all you'll ever be good for is sex on the Internet"
When he grabbed my tits it felt like he was either giving me a mammogram or trying to pierce my nipples with his fingers.
So it's always a good weekend when you don't get any sleep, try opening a bottle of wine on rocks, and end up needing a tetanus booster for our stupidity... Same thing next weekend?
You puked on my feet last night. You owe me a pedicure.
I know what you meant. If you want babies in time for your birthday, we gonna need either a time machine or a ski mask.
See,its just the last time this situation happened I ended up hiding in a closet on my birthday
Just made a bong out of a pineapple. So yes.. And champagne is about to be popped
Awk. Hanging with her while messaging her ex about sex injuries he gave me
I mean I just feel if I'm not being fat and lazy then I'm not really being myself
I've been continuously high for the last 48 hours, and just broke my 4th vibrator. Coincidence? FIND ME A MAN I BEG OF YOU.
Randomize
