who the fuck tagged pancake nipples on my profile picture?
just got my tax refund and at bell. how do you say i want a grand worth of 5 layer burritos in spanish?
Had a student tell me he misses the old Four Loko. He's in 7th grade. No one is allowed to claim I started drinking too young ever again.
Eating a muffin with a knife and fork. Hangovers have hit a new low.
Holy fuck, spaghetti burritos are the best idea I've ever had.
I dont have any paper so I'm writing class notes on my first response direction pregnancy paper. Judging eyes are all around.
Well he fell three stories from the balcony and still had the strength to fuck me for 2 hours.
I hooked up with Spider-Man on the hood of Santas car. I kept saying that he could shoot his web at me. Also I found Waldo. Overall good night.
I made out with drunk Joe Dirt and then put his mullet wig on for him. True Halloween romance.
Your boobs stole my birthday thunder!
You said you were going to start drinking less. Drinking 25 small airplane bottle shots do not count.
I did a line of coke with my ex tonight. Talk about memories
Waxing your own asshole is awkward and difficult at best.
you were walking down the sidewalk and just puked. didnt even stop or slow down and just kept going. i was so impressed i didnt even tell anyone you threw up on passing peoples shoes.
Ha! Just garden hosed my vag and thought of you.
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