Goddamn it, are you fucking her sister?
did you know it's going to storm tonight?
You bitch. At least tell Laura she's a better kisser.
Holy shit bill nye is being consulted as an expert on cnn and hes credited as the science guy. What the fuck is the world coming to?
new level of vanity: sex dreams about deep throating myself...
The only thing worse than listening to you two fuck all night was waking up and smelling bacon and there not being any left.
me and my mom are sitting in the bank parking lot drying my beer soaked check with the heat... the whole car smells like heinekin and I'm trying to convince her I don't need a.a.
I somehow ended up with a bottle of red wine in one hand and white in the other and would drink them at the same time. Ruined
I'm supposed to be studying for finals but all I can think about is blowing him on a sea doo this summer
So. How about you can get tequila certified...
N.C. cops just used a megaphone to tell me I have a slutty outfit. My life is complete.
My tits, and hanging out behind a hotel eating pizza.
He said i got a new job lets blow this money he bought 4 bottles at the club he is now crying after seeing the reciept
The other guys kept waking up so I hid... Like, dick in mouth, hiding in his sleeping bag
We need to get fucked up again and play games like "save the tequila but dodge the knife"
I just sat watching friends in the bathtub by candlelight...nights like this make me wonder if I ever want to be in a relationship again
I wonder if go pro can customize a cock ring so I don't have to hold the camera anymore
Randomize
