its whatevr the fuvk you could ever want is wht it is. i dont wanna read. literacy? overated in my opinion. overated.
The wedding was scheduled to start 5 min. ago. 20 people here so far, groomsmen in tees and jeans, catering by Costo. NO ONE OUR AGE IS READY FOR MARRIAGE!
Literally 6000 elephants in my backyard.
you were sitting on the floor cleaning up your own puke and telling my mom she should hire you as a maid.
They'd unbutton the overalls with their lesbian-tongues. It wouldn't even be a problem.
I'm going to see if it catches on fire again, then I'll make the decision.
Well he has a girlfriend. So I told him that I wanted to have sex way more than I wanted to be a decent human being.
Hey. Whatever time u wake up let me know Ur alive. I need my vegas partner... I don't think they let u take corpses on a plane.
I think I fixed my testicle. That's why I didnt pay $25 for a doctor to do it
Like, what's the customary waiting period to hookup with your newly single ex that you never stopped hooking up with?
That sad moment when you flush your Molly down the toilet at the airport & watch your vacation slowly end..
I woke up with my panties in the cat food dish, and everything covered in honey and bruises.
Deciding whether to take my sex toys home for Christmas will be the biggest decision I make this holiday season
that's what I'm here for. I'm literally just bad advice mixed with motivational sentences.
Dude she is fucking shit up. Her baby would be proud
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