check it out our google latitudes are spooning
Can you tell me we didn't drink from a fish bowl we found in the bathroom last night? I know it would be a lie; I just need to hear it.
the cashier at riteaid just made the sign of the cross before he rang up my pregnancy test. now i know god is on my side
I am midnight drunk by noon
i'm thankful for my girlfriend's hot cousins....god, i love her family parties.
she is medically diagnosed as a nympho. she has the paper to prove it. hell. fucking. yeah.
I head back to the dorms in less than a week I'm not ready to see my roomate naked that much again.
I just found a tail you can wear naked. Via a butt plug. Who ever said the internet was a good thing?
Who takes their shirt off at the bar?! Classy broad
I do. In all fairness there was someone else's blood on it.
When I woke up everyone at the party was in their underwear. Only you guys were playing strip pong.
Yes, we all have the power to convince a large amount of people to take their clothes off
I fell asleep in the tanning bed, naked, for an hour and a half and I guess they couldn't wake me up so they called the fire department...and they came in while I was passed out naked...
You were a cyclone of alcohol and bad decisions - like a gay Tazmanian devil
When you make me feel sane and well-adjusted, it is time to reevaluate your night out habits. Just sayin'.
I don'y know if I should feel accomplished or disgusted. I just ate a dozen cookies all to myself. I'm leaning more towards accomplished.
She always used to joke about becoming a stripper. WHO'S FUNNY NOW?!
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