Ramen noodles and uncensored jerry springer episodes, what a nice life i have.
No, when he said that he wished he had my eyebrows, THATS when I knew he was gay.
Want any specific kind of beer?
Yeah. Alcohol flavor.
Got it. Anything but Miller.
Am i fat?
Well i wouldnt let you on top
Just bought all my wine for the weekend with a check at 11am. I'm almost judging myself.
Omg he's telling my parents stories about him doing jaagerbombs ... Lord help me
somebody went from crying while watching Full House, to a full on emotional raging bull...I love this time of the month
I would pay to watch a Bravo special of you getting Botox.
Every FB picture she has looks like it's from the POV of the guy she's blowing
i almost threw up on his dick. its like icarus, flew too close to the sun. except the sun is his dick and my throat was icarus
Your vagina is not a steamboat from the 1800's
He looks like a Mormon from a lifetime movie. Oddly I wanna give him a hand job
Had to lock my cat in the bathroom so I could masturbate in peace.
It's routine now. He comes home from work and i ride him like a cowgirl with only a few sips of wine. I love being his neighbor.
Long story short wrist restraints, Apple Watch and cumming all don’t mix
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