He's trying to kill me, one liver cell at a time. It's going to be a slow, but awesome death
Take your time, they're doing body shots off the dog.
this kid woke up on our hotel floor and doesnt know how he got here
on my way back.. me and that kid will be great friends
I am sitting on the couch "eating" a frozen big bucket margarita with a spoon.
It's been two weeks and I still have carpet burns on my knees. Well done.
and being hungover still at 4 in the afternoon is NOT "having allergies"
Oh my god I'm so bored. The virgin is so disinteresting when I'm not trying to cum on her face.
yeah people on the adjacent balcony, Im naked drinking outside in 0 degree weather at 1pm. got a problem?
I have reached the point in my life where I realized this is what I'm going to do for the rest of my life. Eat, shit , bar, drink, drank, drunk.
I woke up this morning wearing his boxers as a shirt
Found out my grandpa had two wives and found out I'm eligible for some internships 11/10 would do acid again.
i found you laying on the floor staring at the ceiling and you kept muttering "why" in various inflections.
After I chugged my beer the cop slapped my ass and said "atta girl" this can't be real life.
my near death experience doubled as my sexual awakening
Lunch date was a success. And you'll be proud- my legs stayed closed.
Randomize
