Wow so rude I was trying to have an orgy later but whatever
I think having sex with you would be a great treat for us
you guys got to bein so kosher and go with the flow
no more hot dogs for you........
fine no more vajj for you
I woke up wearing just my underwear and a headlamp at a different house than I remember passing out at. I told you irish car bombs are not made with an entire guinness.
You need to tell your booty call to take some sudafed or something. I swear I thought you were humping Kermit the frog last night
I was really disturbed by what initially appeared to be a dismembered head sitting beside you. Then I realized you were laying on her body.
Girl walking by was talking on the phone about how he needed to write a gratitude list in her letter to god this week. Too stoned
The highlight of my night was definitely explaining the bandaid on my nipple.
Ugh I just wanna make an announcement like: Attention high school classmates: if we haven't spoken in 5 years, we don't need to start now. Please be on your way
WHY DO YOU ALWAYS PUT THE PLUG IN THE SINK BEFORE YOU PUKE IN IT
FYI...Jose likes Shamrock shakes better than Jack
Its a little weird going to a wedding where I've screwed the bride and my wife has screwed the groom. Great wedding though.
he attacked my vagina with the force of a thousand suns
My pants are on and I'm pretty sure I tried to throw them at someone.
I mean I could but due to my age and being a mother and all I feel it's poor judgment to give fellatio in a public establishment.
Back at condo with chick. What is the condom situation urgent response needed
Randomize
