What should our trivia night team be named?
Define Statutory
My mom said she was relieved to see that I'd gained some weight bc she's "always worried" that I might have AIDS.
Replacing day drinking with a real job was the worst decision I've ever made.
you're letting him buy you a plane ticket...to kentucky...so you can fuck him?
i know. i'm only adding to the interstate sex trade problem.
He gave me an orgasm before we even reached 2nd base, everything he did in high school is irrelevant.
I want you to come over here and spit coffee in my mouth like a momma bird feeding a baby bird. That hung over.
I'm going as either a recovering alcoholic, or as a guy who came to the party straight from work. Too literal?
Just face planted the stairs. Apparently Santa brought an extra step while I was at the bar... Fucking dick
I was going through my mom's stuff to find her xanax, and I found her vibrators instead. Plural. That is like the opposite of what I wanted.
I think my dove chocolate wrapper just told me to masturbate.
I just remembered you petting my nose last night to help the cocaine 'sink in'. I don't think that's how it works
I'm so jealous of your sex life. You know it's awesome when thinking about the sex you had last night brings you tears of joy.
Tell him to put up or shut up. Can't be dangling dick in front of ho's without delivering.
It's just disrespectful
How many Hail Marys does a girl need to say to get some quality nudes?
I once left mine in my bra and I forgot and I didn't notice it was there until it vibrated.
Randomize
