I just walked into his bathroom to see two poops floating... no toilet paper. WTF!?
You can now add 30,000 feet to the places where I have puked
I need Christmas break to be over. I'm tired of fucking my old High School girlfriends
i will pay you if you can come get me. he just suggested that we would have a hockey themed wedding.
You made me wash my hair in the kitchen sink while eating bay leaves
I swear there's a gravitational pull from your vagina to large groups of men in uniform.
I just saw a black chick with an eyepatch. This is a once in a lifetime opportunity.
Just fat and dog and sweat all over the bed. All night long.
When that wave blew your top off I heard someone yell "SPANK BANK"
As a former fat girl, that's probably the best compliment I've ever received ever!
My eczema on my back is flaring up so he rubbed coconut oil on it while we were boning down. If that's not a picture of 8 years married I dunno what is.
Welcome to the club of "Sick of cleaning up actual shit." We meet on the 3rd Sunday of each month. Bring your ceremonial viking helmet.
Of course i made out w him. He was painted green. You know of my secret longing for the Hulk.
I licked your asshole in confidence.
I honestly just wanna put my face in her tits and disappear from this plane of existence
ok first of all what the fuck
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