What do you think she thinks of us?
I think she thinks we're whores... but ya I think she likes us
I think I'm going to die by hangover. I'm in my spanish class. So I guess I'm going to be muerte.
It's a shame that I don't know his last name. Actually, it's an ever bigger shame that I don't know his first name
Went biking. Saw homeless guy beating in the park. Thought of you <3
How can you turn a kayak date down? I'M TALKING RIVER HEAD HERE.
you want your laptop back?
are you giving me my laptop back, or cashing in on our break up sex?
both.
come over.
We built a fire and had sex in the kiddie pool. Then he washed my hair
Strong work
With a few pieces of metal and duct tape and a bong was created
Are you coming to the bday night? i'll be doing a life-like reenactment of traveling through Bonnie's vaginal canal and taking my first breath of life. Don't think you'll want to miss it.
I can bring a slip n slide and curtains.
I found out Naomi Campbell and I have the same birthday and I feel like that explains so much
He said it wasn't ladylike of me to drink more whiskey than him. I told him to stop being a little bitch.
After you puked in the bathtub you claimed you were never eating quesadillas again and you never even ate a quesadilla
I just got a snapchat of a flaccid penis with the caption "happy belated valentine's day." What did I do to deserve this
Like he was trying to be sexy but he had shit taste in porn so i left
my night went from a boring school play to hotboxing a car with 3 criminals
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