Where you are. You must stay where you are are
Where you are. You must stay where you are arewhere are youu
Where you are. You must stay where you 5eare wher are you!!
I don't wanna hook up with anyone from minnesota
everybody there reminds me of mashed potatoes... white and lumpy
That's why girls suck all the time. Blah blah nag nag drama drama buy me things but I won't touch your penis
i woke up to my roomate hitting me in the head with a can of PBR at 8:30 in the morning...i love spring break
Just accidentally pinched my dick between two 50 pound dumbbells while doing shoulder shrugs. God hates me.
I have hooked up with someone in EVERYONE OF MY CLASSES.
That's how you know you deserve to be a senior
Most adult booty call ever. Ha. We got down to business and still got to watch the colbert report.
tell me there's a reason my bed smells like paint thinner
And I just want to be like your tongue is not a FUCKING sword
I just finished a four mile round trip walk to CVS to buy shaving cream and lube. You're welcome.
I am stoned at Disneyland with my little brother. It's gonna be a good day.
It's like the bat signal. He only texts me when I'm naked.
last thing I remember is yelling 'sit on my face' through a traffic cone
You showed up at my house at 4am with a bloody nose, one shoe and a bucket of chicken... I live no where near a place that sells chicken in a bucket..
Well that would explain the bones in my purse.
I guess when the asshole said “I really miss you and want to get back together” he actually meant “I’m banging a Hooters girl behind your back.”
I hope she gives him gonorhea
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