i dont have any money that hasnt already been designated for cigarettes and birth control
So he thinks I sent him a picture of my boob last night, but it was really just a close up of my arm.
Apparently I confessed my love for him last night. Also, my love for cash4gold commercials.
True. I'd rather snort cocaine off a homeless guy then work on the weekend...Actually that may not be that bad.
Dude are you alive? We drank shit that made a german bartender blow chunks.
If it makes you feel any better... I have a friend who found out her mom was in the video for 2 Live Crew's "Pop That Pussy"
I just realized that I have dated 5 unemployed guys...and 3 that drove pt cruisers...Turns out I do have a type.
So maybe I got drunk and hooked up with him in a hot tub? I mean that's nothing to be ashamed of, that kind of takes talent. I'd drown.
Just went to my first strip club and they had Fox News on. Conservative booty time.
You know that girl that climbed through my window and got in my bed with me and fucked me? It turns out she was real and has a real boyfriend who is real pissed
I smoked all his weed and he hasn't noticed yet. But I might need a place to crash when he does
The orgasm I got from him made me feel almost as good as I imagine the girls in the tampon commercials feel.
He told me to keep watching the Grammys and then went down on me.. I think I'm in love.
The date did not go well. Turns out I once set her brother on fire.
I screenshoted his dick pic the other day because it literally looked like a brontosaurus. Like that really tall dinosaur that eats grass. Like I wanna draw a face on it.
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