so explain again why im purple
no
talk about how much treatments for your hpv hurts
You can't hide fat with big sunglasses.
you kept wiggling your finger at everybody at the party telling us this is how he fingered me. you seemed pretty upset about it.
i caught the condom in my mouth.. dont ask me how
Spotted: woman loading franzia into a toddler-sized shopping cart for her child to push. Beautiful.
Dude sorry but it totally wasn't worth going back in there for yous shoes
I meant to thank you again for giving up a potential interracial threesome to come to my party. I'm glad you stayed!
Hey..um, you dont know me, but I just found your purse in a bush at the end of my street this morning
You walked up to me, grabbed my face and said "I just peed in the sink!"
the bartender knew what was up when i took a sip of my drink, gagged and asked her to water down my water
This can only be settled by a dance off.
How have you been? I haven’t talked to you since you dyed your pubes.
I was doing handstands in the jail cell and crying “IM A HIGH SCHOOL TEACHER AND IT’S CHRISTMAS EEEEEVE”
Sorry I totally pulled a home invasion on you last night
That was super inconsiderate of me
Randomize
