physics? naw man, teacher told us it was casual friday, so i decided to be super casual and not go.
I just cut my nipple shaving
she'd have to be at LEAST a cup size bigger for me to even consider putting up with her voice
just heard someone say they saw a guy puke while riding a bike across campus without stopping
Thanks for having 911 ready when I jumped off the balcony
I don't think he knows what shame means anymore. He gave some bar slut his sisters Tiffanys necklace, in exchange for anal.
K, so let's go ahead and say that mcnugget and margarita Tuesday was a bad idea
i like feelif swiord YOU ARE A GOD
Drinking ketchup directly out of the bottle does not make it tomato juice.
I don't remember... but I heard a cop threatened to pepper spay my dick
Well if your hearts not big enough, your penis certainly is. Just have a threesome
I see myself subsisting on tequila for the next several days.
When your grandma invites you to a sweet girls' Valentine's dinner with your mom and sister, but you have to decline because you're trying to get two dudes to rail you at once...
How drunk are you?
Completed.
There's a hole in our hallway wall. Don't hate me. I'll fix it. It's only about the size of a beach ball. I promise to never scale walls in our apartment ever again. Don't hate me. I love you.
Randomize
