Pants 0. Shit 1.
Bar. Show boob. Just one. Free drinks. Instant friends
Guys only need one. Little known secret. You're welcome.
Ian has mac and cheese all in his bed/on the wall. Either you did it or he fell asleep with a bowl in his hand and spasmed in his sleep.
Cooked or uncooked?
Hey its bob the builder. Where did you go?
Fuck 8am classes
Dear Jesus I'm gonna throw up through my eyes
DUUUDE!! just found out that the fbi has a kids page. guess who's got a new jumior officer printout badge?
Santa Claus winked at me two tables over at the Chinese place tonight I was almost afraid he knew "getting laid" was my Christmas wish
First day at work... I clogged up the office toilet on purpose to assert my dominance.
When I don't want to forget things I put them on my cigs.
C smoking isn't all bad
I hooked up with a lesbian tonite. Top 2 valentines experiences of all time.
Clothes make me feel like a responsible adult and that's just not something I'm ready to handle.
As much as I trust your struggle imma deal with being Eskimo brothers with my own sister before I get to that
Haha. I have resting bitch face. He has I want y'all to die face. It's a subtle difference
Thanks. It's every girl's dream, right? To blow a bald marketing consultant 12 years her senior?
He has to be employed and covid free. That’s my standard. I can’t be picky. 2020 has killed my sex life.
Randomize
