did not feel like going to store to get condoms last night so went to her pantry and got a sandwich bag and a rubberband
did it work?
nope
This is the kind of period I feel I should name out of respect to the fact I might have just gotten lucky this time.....
on the way home the dog started throwing up her bone in the car..so naturally i started to puke too
It's hard to believe so much cum came out of such a small penis.
I drunken agreed to go wedding dress shopping with a stranger at the bar yesterday. She sent me an email asking what days I am free.
I'd say things got weird when I started doing lines of molly in the box.
The family next to you was not pleased
I remember him going "OH SHIT" when he saw you straddling me on the table. And it was like the best feeling ever.
It tasted better than Jesus's hair.
Last nights hook up turn into a star wars history lesson.. He's luck y he's pretty..
You can't be mad... I'm letting you jerk off in my parents shower
I mean I did fuck her boyfriend, the least I could do is post happy birthday on her Facebook wall.
Uhm I have a bottle of tequila, a gallon of orange juice, and leggings. Now ask me again how hard im going? And that doesn't cover tomorrow.
At a bar in the city and the whole place starting singing “Happy Birthday” to someone. Everyone but me. The person next to me leaned over and said, “Why didn’t you sing along?!?” I responded, “I don’t know him. I don’t give a shit if he has a happy birthday.”
Sitting in the dr office she literally looked at my throat and goes have you been having oral intercourse
She dropped the call after she told me she doesn't want to hear about how loud he can scream.
Randomize
